When we found out about N. it had to be one of the hardest days of my life. We by luck had a Dr. appointment after my ultrasound. She came in the room and said that they were sending me to a high risk preganacy group. N. had fluid build up in his brian and they were not sure what was causing it. My doctor told me to prepare that my baby might not make it. At this point my experince in motherhood takes a 180 from what I ever thought is was going to be. After the longest 20min drive of my life and a even longer waiting room wait of my life, we find out that N. has spina biffida and hydropholis. That weekend I had my first pitty party. I have delt with depression for most of my life, but before this it had been in check. I lost it that weekend, all I wanted to do was cry and ask why me? Could I handle this? And now what about Will? How will this all effect him? And my little baby boy, what will his life hold? What if he gets teased? Will he ever make a friend? Get invited to a birthday party? Have kids come to his birthday party? This went on all weekend and then I had to come out of it. And I had to decided what I was going to do. N. is my kid first and formost, he will always be my kid not a medical condition. This became my motto as I sat through weekly stress test and countless ultrasounds. It was still my motto as he was wisked away after birth to the NICU, and after his first two surgeries, and after I left the hospital and he was still there. This was still my motto after 10 surgeries.
People ask me all the time how do you do it with N., and I tell them my motto. And them tell them honestly that N. spina biffida is only a small part of who he is. N. is a elmo and backyardigins loving 2 year old. He can not stand his little sister, but thinks his big brother is the best person ever. He loves cookies and fruit loops. He loves container toys, and clapping. His blanket is his confront. He loves his daddy, but loves his mom when he is sick. He his the biggest flirt (just ask his theripsts). He loves football, and sports center.
Is it hard at times to keep up that motto? I get asked. Sure it is. I still have pitty parties, it is my way of dealing with the stress, I worry about all those questions, I asked to myself when we found out about him, all the time. I always will.
t.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Introductions.......
J and I have been married for 5 years. He works his butt off so I can stay home with our kids. I love him more and more everyday. I am honored that I call him my husband and that he calls me his wife.
W. is 3 1/2. He just started preschool this fall. He has been diagnosed with Global Developmental Delay. He is also in the process of being diagnosed with autism/asbergers. He is a active little guy up and down and all around all day long.
N. is my 2 1/2 year old (yes he and his brother are Irish twins, for a week in December they are the same age. At my 20 week ultrasound N. was diagnosed with spina biffida. He has had 10 surgeries since birth. He is my laugher, his brothers biggest fan, and my little mama's boy.
E. is my baby girl. She is 6months, and just started to sit up. She is my girly girl(or I like to think). She loves to smile at anyone who will smile at her. Oh and if you walk past our house and hear that little girl screaming on the top of her lungs, that is just E. letting us know she is still around.
And then there is me T. I am alot of things, as you can see form above I am a mother, SAHM, and a wife. I am a interior designer. I am a TV lover. Pop culture lover. I am no chef, but I love to garden. Not a dog days of summer person, lover of fall and snow. My favorite holiday is the 4th of July.
And this is my blog. It is a place for me to talk about me, what is on my mind, what I need to vent. It is a raw look at having 2 kids with disabilities. Having a mother daughter realtionship that I have been waiting for. A look at my marriage, the good, the bad, the ugly.
T.
ps I was never good at english in school, I will try to do my best but there will be grammer and spelling errors. That is me deal with it.
W. is 3 1/2. He just started preschool this fall. He has been diagnosed with Global Developmental Delay. He is also in the process of being diagnosed with autism/asbergers. He is a active little guy up and down and all around all day long.
N. is my 2 1/2 year old (yes he and his brother are Irish twins, for a week in December they are the same age. At my 20 week ultrasound N. was diagnosed with spina biffida. He has had 10 surgeries since birth. He is my laugher, his brothers biggest fan, and my little mama's boy.
E. is my baby girl. She is 6months, and just started to sit up. She is my girly girl(or I like to think). She loves to smile at anyone who will smile at her. Oh and if you walk past our house and hear that little girl screaming on the top of her lungs, that is just E. letting us know she is still around.
And then there is me T. I am alot of things, as you can see form above I am a mother, SAHM, and a wife. I am a interior designer. I am a TV lover. Pop culture lover. I am no chef, but I love to garden. Not a dog days of summer person, lover of fall and snow. My favorite holiday is the 4th of July.
And this is my blog. It is a place for me to talk about me, what is on my mind, what I need to vent. It is a raw look at having 2 kids with disabilities. Having a mother daughter realtionship that I have been waiting for. A look at my marriage, the good, the bad, the ugly.
T.
ps I was never good at english in school, I will try to do my best but there will be grammer and spelling errors. That is me deal with it.
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